Should we have another? Advice for when you just don’t know.

Ok, so I’m done birthing babies, like 99.9 percent done, the last tenth of a percent is because God works in mysterious ways (ha!) If you don’t know me, my husband and I have three wonderfully crazy kids earth-side and one already with our creator.

After our second child was born I knew I wanted another. Well there were some days I did and other days I thought yeah two will PLENTY. Well around the time our youngest turned two, we got pregnant. We weren’t planning nor preventing it, but either way it was a wonderful surprise. Sadly that pregnancy ended after the shortest yet longest emotionally stressful and painful 8 weeks; I had lost my sweet baby as well as my left fallopian tube. Losing a child is never easy, no matter the age of gestation or years it’s a hard process to walk through. I questioned God for months following the loss. But I also found hope, hope that what was meant to be, will be. His plan is always good and that’s worth clinging onto.

After getting the all clear to try again, I was 100% sure I wanted another baby, I had extreme baby fever. There was no more uncertainty. Seven months later we conceived again, a healthy boy, this time in the correct place.

During my second trimester, after the worst morning sickness I ever experienced finally diminished, I took my cooped up kids to a bounce house place to burn some energy. My kids instantly made friends with a few other kids and naturally I made conversation with their mom. Do y’all get into deep conversations with people you meet for only a short while? I do, mostly because I too am cooped up in the house. Anyways, this particular mom was pregnant with her fifth, so again we naturally talked about our pregnancies. Somewhere in our conversation I asked if she was going to have more kids. She had said maybe and I had told her that after this one we were going to be done just for the simple reason that we felt and still feel ready to move past the child rearing season of our life. Then she gave me some really good advice for if we ever felt like we were on the fence about having anymore kids that she received from her grandmother.

Her grandmother had said that “You only regret the kids you didn’t have.” A simple yet well put statement; you only regret the kids you did not have. You are unknowingly missing out on another blessing from God. You don’t feel disappointed over having your children, they bring you joy (most of the time) and purpose. The Bible says children are a gift from God, they are His reward (Psalm 127-3). A gift is a thing given WILLing to someone without payment; a present. So if you find yourself up on that wooden post considering having another baby and you can’t quiet the back and forth in your brain because you don’t think you have the patience, the energy, the finances, the whatever just remember the only kids you regret are the ones you didn’t have. God has it all planned out all you have to do is have faith. Seriously, what is one more to love?

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